Carbon Does Stuff

21st May 2013

Post reblogged from This is Thin Privilege with 137 notes

Here is a thing that makes me so mad.

welcometobethville:

It’s not often that I get so mad at a thing that I have to go to my Tumblr to talk about it. I tend to keep politics, religion, and anger away from Welcome to Bethville! because it is very sensitive and prone to fits of crying. But over here, on Welcome to Bethville: The Tumblr Edition, we talk about all things. And when I say “we,” I’m referring to me. But saying “we” makes it feel less lonely as I type this on my couch of sadness.

So, here goes.

Whenever I go to the internet and happen across a beautifully written article about weight struggles and eventual fat acceptance and then scroll to the comments to let the “But do you know how unhealthy that is?” assholes fuel my hatefire, I notice one trend that needs to stop immediately. And that trend…….wait for it……just going to take a sip of this coffee real quick to fortify myself……is this:

You see this kind of comment in EVERY SINGLE BODY ACCEPTANCE FORUM. You guys. Thin people who nodded in agreement while reading this Dear Abby letter, I’m talking to you. This has to stop. I know what you’re trying to do, and I get it. You want a toehold in the conversation, something to connect with the author about. Like,”You’ve struggled! I’ve struggled! We’ve both struggled. Isn’t that neat?” And then maybe you’ll walk away friends with a greater understanding of each other’s lives. But I almost think that you are trying so hard to find that toehold that you (Brace yourselves, I’m going all caps now) ARE NOT LISTENING. 

Now, as an aside to get it out of the way, I am not saying that thin people don’t struggle. We’re not talking about eating disorders here. I know so many people who have struggled with an eating disorder, and my heart hurts for them. But we’re going to put them aside for now because eating disorders are on an entirely different continent of discussion. 

We’ll also, at this time, put aside people who are dealing with health issues that make it hard for them to gain or maintain weight. My ex-boyfriend had the Crohn’s and I once went to a support group meeting with him. The people I met at that meeting, almost all of them bone thin, broke my heart in ways I still do not understand. But we’re not talking about them either. 

I’m talking about those thin people who are just genetically thin and have somehow managed to find a way to suffer from that. 

Now, teasing is the worst, no matter what the how or why is for it. I’ll give you that. But it is NOT ( and I’m going to type NOT again right here for extra emphasis) hate. And hate is what makes life different for overweight and obese people. Someone saying to you, “You’re so thin! Eat a sandwich!” is not hate. It’s that person being a douchebag. Your feelings might be hurt, and that is totally valid. But at the end of the day, Angelina Jolie is still considered one of the most beautiful people in the world. There aren’t women’s magazines on the shelves that say, “GAIN WEIGHT TODAY” in an attempt to get your money. You can sit your ass in a plane or theater seat without any problem. You don’t have to struggle to find health insurance or pay more when you finally do, despite your fitness level. And a famous person calling another famous person “thin” in an interview with Howard Stern does not turn into a huge news trend with every asshole on Twitter feeling the need to chime in with about ten insulting hashtags. Being called “thin” has never once in the history of time been considered an insult. It’s just a state of being. Give that person who judged you the finger, turn around, and walk away. Society has your back as a thin person.

“But it’s so hard to find clothes in my size sometimes!” I read very often in these “But what about meeeeee?” comments. I’m sorry. I truly am. I completely identify with not being able to find clothes that fit. But there is a difference in your problem and the problems of someone who is overweight or obese. The extra small size not being small enough in the dress you want at H&M is not a struggle. That’s an inconvenience. If you really want that dress, you can buy it and take it to tailor. A woman who needs a size 18 can’t do that. She has to go to a different store, a special store. Or order online. Or learn how to sew. Do you see the difference now?

Here’s an anecdote because I have a million of them. When I was a wee high school pretty, I was a size 16. Like most wee pretties of that age, I wanted to go to prom. My mom said, “I heard about this store that is doing a big dress sale. We should go.” We went. It was a 50-mile drive. Not one…NOT ONE…of the dresses in that store came in my size. We ended up driving another 120 miles to a store that had TWO dresses that came in a 16. IN THE ENTIRE STORE. They had to special order it for me. It was not even remotely the kind of dress I wanted. It was just the one that happened to fit, and I was too embarrassed to complain. The fact that these stores did not even deem me worthy of having a dress, of being a person, is not a simple inconvenience. It’s a fucking suckfest that needed to be doused in gasoline and lit on fire. 

“Well, why didn’t you lose weight, 16-year-old, Bethany?” you might be asking yourself.” She tried. And how rude of you to ask. Now, leave her alone and let her feel her feelings.

My dears. My thin, beautiful, sweet, well-meaning friends. I love you. And I want you to know that I really mean that. I spent years and years hating on you. I admit that I used to be one of the “Eat a sandwich” douchebags because I was dealing with my own self-hatred and pain. But if you are truly, truly suffering from people teasing you and not being able to find pants that fit, then open up your own discussion about it. Write an article. Write a blog post. Get some magic markers and make yourself a sandwich board. Stop trying to open up the discussion on fat acceptance and discrimination to include you. It doesn’t, no matter how hard you try. Be kind. Be understanding. And accept that not everything is about you. 

With love,

Bethany

Tagged: sizeismthank you for thisI've never had the gall to call people out on this

Source: welcometobethville

19th May 2013

Post reblogged from Oh man, here's a thing. with 538 notes

yo, send me Honest Opinions of my art

poplilly4009:

awastrelmescalined:

ideas for what to say:

• how would you describe my art?
• what does my art remind you of?
• what would you like to see done with my style?
• what do you like about my art?
• what do you dislike about my art?
• what do you think i should work on?

thank you everyone <3 kisses

I would like it if someone told me what I should draw more of.

Source: awastrelmescalined

18th May 2013

Post reblogged from ミケンノ with 20 notes

On SELF Magazine’s ‘Thyroid Cancer: What Are Your Risks?’

mikenno:

I don’t do this very often, but as many of you might know, I’m currently being treated for thyroid cancer. In the past month or so, SELF Magazine had published an article on it, but the article did little but under/mis-inform and, quite frankly, offend people who suffer with thyroid cancer and the follow-up treatments for the rest of their lives, as well as just straight-up offends people who have had loved ones die from this cancer. If you read the article in question, it’s very offensive to cancer patients in general, in my opinion.

The tumblr posts that I’ve seen going around do not get very many notes, and I know many of you may not have had your lives impacted by cancer or thyroid cancer in particular, but if you can take a moment to boost what this magazine is doing and how they’re responding, I’d appreciate it.

Here are some links.

The SELF Magazine article: ‘Thyroid Cancer: What Are Your Risks?’

ThyroidChange.org’s first response

SELF replies to ThyroidChange

and ThyroidChange replies again

Thanks for your time.

11th May 2013

Post reblogged from This is Thin Privilege with 64 notes

fatanarchy:

itwillbeloud replied to your post: Fat people doing yoga like that can lead to health complications down the road. Her elbows arent built to support that much weight.

wait&. now fat people ARENT supposed to exercise????????????????????

Yeah we apparently need thin-mandated exercises (you know, only the ones thin people decide we should be allowed to do, aka not yoga) and our own private place to do them, so no one has to actually see the fat people exercising but thin people are still allowed to come in and scoff and make animal noises and eyeroll at us (because lord knows fat people aren’t allowed to have safe fat-only spaces either).

Source: fatanarchy

11th May 2013

Post reblogged from This is Thin Privilege with 146 notes

doctornajib:

{tw: weight loss/diet talk} one way that being fat has impacted my ability to have healthy relationships is weight loss talk. i don’t trust anyone, and that partially stems from all of my attempts to lose weight throughout my life.

and the subsequent failure.

here you are, attempting diet #28 for the third time, and everybody in the office knows. and they smile, and they finally accept you because you’re finally proving to them that you actually do hate your fat body as much as they do, and they’re giving you unsolicited advice, and you’re listening and smiling because finally, people are talking to you like you’re just ‘one of the guys’ and not the fat ass that it’s hard to tell fat jokes around (even though they do it anyway, but it’s totally your fault that they are made uncomfortable when telling their joke, duh!). and for  a few days, or weeks, or even months, people start noticing a change. and they congratulate you on your food choices, your apples and steamed vegetables and 2 oz portions of boneless skinless chicken breast and the 36 oz bottle of water you keep on your desk, they smile approvingly when you refuse cake at the office party, or take the steps instead of the elevator, and even though they all hate it, they’ve made an exception for you to cook your stinky fish and butter free salt free fat free popcorn in the break room microwave, and snack on your plain unsalted rice cakes during staff meetings.

and because everyone is so personally invested in your very personal weight loss and diet (fuck your ego, it’s not a ‘healthy new lifestyle’, it’s a diet, don’t get it twisted), they notice every. single. thing. you put in your mouth. that 2oz chicken breast looked pretty big today, more like 4 or 5 oz. hmm. oh, you’re ordering french fries instead of house salad with your your veggie burger at lunch today? i see that you got a s cup of froyo today. interesting, oh, so you’re back to red meat again? doritos? but what happened to your rice cakes?  did you leave your water bottle at home, i see you’re having soda today. hey, saw you in starbucks this morning — so you’re back to the full-fat latte instead of the skinny, huh? happy hour? with that calorie laden liquor? really? taking the elevator today, huh? hmmmm.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

as a fat person, your body already doesn’t belong to you. everything you do with it, and put in and on it, is for other people’s approval. and the MINUTE you go on a diet and other people know about it, they are policing it even more severely than they were before, and their disapproval at your “mistakes” are up for public ridicule and debate now, because YOU MADE THE CHOICE to share with them your intention to lose weight, and it takes a fucking village you big fat ass i’m just trying to motivate you!

all my life. ALL MY LIFE this has happened. i remember once trying the slimfast thing, and i went and bought the powdered mix, and was faithfully drinking it for breakfast and sneaking it in between cigarette breaks for my lunch. i carried it in a little clear rubbermaid container with a built in straw. one woman saw me sipping and asked what it was, and i told her it was chocolate milk, and she just smirked and said ‘sure it is’. i went home and binged that night. i think i was like, 17 or 18.

when you fall off the wagon or, more likely, when your DIET doesn’t actually work, everyone knows. everyone can see. and they watch, they watch, they watch, every change in your eating or behavior, they know about it, and it’s basically your own damned fault if the diet isn’t working. 

i tried this one super restrictive diet once. you ate 300-500 calories a day for 4 days, then ate your own regular foods for 3 days. this diet promised HUGE results. it’s one of those “only if you’re serious about weight loss because you lose so much weight!” fad diets that they were purporting came from years of research at this medical school. i started this diet at least 40 separate times from ages 16 to 22. i only completed an entire cycle/week of the diet maybe 6 times. i will not say what my results were. instead, i’ll say that i was sick and dizzy with hunger and lack of nutrients and i could barely even move. i could usually only complete 3 of the 4 days, and then i’d binge and purge for  weeks and weeks to make up for all the food i missed, feeling like shit afterwards. and people knew. they knew at school, they knew at work. each time, i would proudly state that “i am going to get healthy!” and embark on my new diet, and on day 4, i’d be shoveling in giant carl’s jr. burgers and fried chicken and french fries from the corner store and burgerville milkshakes by the truckload. and people would just shake their heads in disappointment, belittle me for not being able to suck it up for just ONE MORE DAY, watch every morsel that went into my mouth and comment comment comment on it all.

so i learned, eventually, to not say SHIT about my dieting and weight loss plans. and that spilled over into other parts of my life, too. anything where the results weren’t 100% guaranteed, i would never share with ANYONE. applying to college, taking a test, job interview, making new friends, meeting a potential new boyfriend, getting an apartment, NOTHING. i became the most private, reserved person ever, i didn’t want to tell anyone shit, because i didn’t want to ever deal with the humiliation of not succeeding and hearing “sure it is” with a smirk or a snicker. 

as the fat girl, i’m used to being ridiculed. it doesn’t happen so much lately — like when it does happen, it always surprises me, you know — but i am always super cautious about everything when i’m in public or around other people, because i cannot BEAR to be made the ass of a joke. i don’t think i could stand to see the “i knew it!” look on someone’s face, or hear the comments and policing involved when i opt for a cookie instead of a carrot. 

being fat has taught me that i have to keep everything in my life a fucking secret. i am so terrified of being made fun of, even in jest, that i don’t say ANYTHING. i am so anxious about failing that i keep all plans to do anything to myself. i don’t trust ANYONE with ANYTHING personal about me, because i don’t want to become the ass of a joke if or when i am unsuccessful. this is one of the reasons i have refused to go back to portland since my separation and divorce, why i have been hesitant to talk to my mother or sister, why i don’t keep in touch with friends — i don’t want the ridicule, the i-told-you-so, the looks, the smirks, the smugness. 

because being fat has taught me that i don’t really belong to myself. so i have to hold shit super tight and close, unless i want to become a punchline. 

but of course, it’s all about my health…

Source: doctornajib